Sugar, it’s not you. It’s me. We’ve evolved apart.

As I think I’ve made it pretty clear, I’m a recovering sugar addict. That has been the most difficult aspect of going Primal. The sweet treats and the pizza (which digests into sugar in your body and my body gets high on that!) get me every time. I’m not joking; it’s something I’ve struggled with once I became very conscious of the problem.

I bought two Sonic shakes on 1/2 priced day yesterday. Figured I could try two for the price of one. Cravings, y’know? I drank the Pineapple shake. It was ridiculously sweet. I couldn’t even separate the taste of the whipped cream from the shake. I didn’t finish it, but my stomach didn’t thank me for as much as I had. It was a sensation I knew well, but I realize now I am so accustomed to a roiling stomach after frozen treats that I just deal with it like that’s supposed to happen. My head still thanked me…but I don’t think it really meant it. Sometimes the boyfriend and I used to take late night trips to A&P for ice cream and we would watch How I Met Your Mother and eat it. I knew my stomach would get loud, but once I made it known that would happen, it was easy to brush off when it happened again. Excuses, you always have my back.

While I didn’t eat a cookie yesterday at the theatre, I did take one home to have for today as a treat along with the shake. I was very proud of myself for simply not craving it to the point of scarfing it down right there and then. (Or was it shame and guilt because I didn’t have a moment to eat it alone when no one would know?) Today I figured I’d either have the shake or the cookie and the other would be for tomorrow.

I drank the second shake today, Oreo Cheesecake. Drank a little. Got a headache. Went to the bank. Came home and finished it just because I can’t deny myself. And I was so proud of saying no to the actors’ pizza for the photo shoot last night that I figured I can control myself now. I must have finally learned! I also did so much good cooking today! Almond flour fried chicken, burgers, sausage. Yum! I’m prepared for the weekend and upcoming week!

But if I could control myself so well, why did I still drink what I know makes me feel sick? …I seriously just defined the word addict.

Then I read this. For whatever reason, maybe the woman’s age, this success story resonated with me. I had already finished the shake and got the lingering headache. I stared down the cookie that was waiting for me for tomorrow. I didn’t crave it, but I like cookies.

I picked it up. Still soft so no worries about it going stale. Hooray!

Then I crushed it and threw it away.

Then I poured out my peach vodka.

Then I poured out the cranberry juice and lemonade mixers. 🙂 Did you notice how beautiful it is today?

Happy 6 month Primal-versary! Happy first day of summer! Happy brand new day!

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