Busting the Bible Belt (formerly Brenna’s Adventures): Dreams of Feels

My stay in Georgia reached its third month yesterday. I can’t tell if I’m excited or sad that the time is flying. It’s almost certainly both. I only wish a full time or even second part time job was easier to come by. Then I would feel so much freer to explore my new surroundings and really get connected to the area here. I don’t even want to splurge a little this month when I could very well profit by the end. My projected electricity bill is looking oh so good right now! …although I did get disgustingly hot last night and finally caved to air conditioning for a few hours. I also baked chicken for an hour. I’m worried more about my heating bill than electricity.

I think my subconscience manifested these fears along with other alcohol-induced feels into such an odd and almost lucid dream.

I dreamed I was at some little flea market (there was a flea market outside the theatre yesterday) and got a beautiful white sun hat (watched an episode of My Fair Wedding with an Alice in Wonderland theme and the bride wore a big woven hat). Then I went inside the building where they were set up and I was suddenly with my mom and grandmother. We spoke to an Asian woman inside and through that I finally snagged a job. It was with Panera Bread. (Start making connections to reality as you see them, folks. 😉 ) She grabbed another sun hat and put it on me for the bogo employee discount then set us to work in the dingy building cleaning around racks of clothing. The boyfriend was there, sort of like he had helped me get the job. He was joking around with me and I ended up tripping on one of the clothing racks. My new boss saw the commotion and looked unhappy. (I messed up a few times working day box and felt bad about it like I was trying to make the best decisions I could on the fly and they were turning out to be all the wrong ones.)

Then I think I had gone home and come back the next day because I had to get to the building again by traversing this steep hill of sharp rocky ledges. (That HAS to mean something!) Boss lady sent me to a room that was somehow familiar to me with its grossness. It was mostly white and was covered with black specks that turned out to be thousands of dead bugs everywhere! And she made me clean in there. I already felt bad about the joking around during work thing so I started cleaning. Then the sun suddenly came up and Boss lady was angry with me in a nearly passive aggressive way because I goofed around earlier so now she had to open the store with the room still littered with bugs. I was really afraid she was going to fire me and I was hoping she would give me another chance to prove I’m really a very good employee. (Oh hi there, nightmares and lingering resentment from Legal Seafoods!)

Then there was this hot and totally nonchalant, really cool and nice co-worker who showed me the co-ed bathroom/marble spa. That part of the dream turned out a lot less fun than I could have let it be if the dream were truly a lucid dream. Haha!

But anyway, it’s quite clear to me how my thoughts and feelings are being manifested in dream form. It’s cool to have vivid dreams I can recall. It just sucks that the dreams are induced by worry. Not so much worry like I’m not living happily right now–I am having the time of my life right now despite what more it could be if I had the full time job! But I want to go out and have fun and bring back awesome stories from the land of the Georgians. I want to buy gifts for people. I want hop in my car, fill up the gas tank, and go explore!

Otherwise, why am I here?

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