Oh man. Is it Friday yet? …Now? …How about now?
I just need to know if I’ve got this job already! I have so much in the way of planning to do for my life! Life planning! Thoughts are racing and simultaneously bruising reality with their cheap shots. Then reality swings back around with a mean left hook. It’s not fun when that happens.
So what did I do today? Good question. Well I did a little more reading. I’ve become very fond of early morning reading. I also started hanging clothing up after a week since I’ve returned from vacation. That’s pretty huge for me, people. And I made burgers for dinner that turned out spectacularly well cooked. Right blend of ingredients this time? Perfect cooking time? I’ll never know. But they were yummy with a little of the tomato sauce I’ve been using with the spaghetti squash. :3 Happy belly. Also skyped the boyfriend again. Four nights in a row! That’s a record! And I’ve proven to myself that I can have a big girl conversation and be quite reasonable when I want to be.
Apparently back in May I didn’t want to be.
I had my second Talloolah class tonight! We chatted a little beforehand because I was like twenty minutes early. The class was only 6 unlike the 12 from Monday. Maybe Wednesdays are the days to go. I’ll decide which beginner class I should stick to in order to supplement the Performance Track should I choose to take it. I won’t know til Friday when I know if I’ve got this job and what my hours would be like. See? See how everything hinges on this one little aspect of my life?? So when it works, yay! But when it doesn’t it is such a crap-tastic feeling. So let’s hope for the best with this one.
I really want to take the Performance Track now, despite being decidedly nervous at the prospect. I didn’t get a chance to ask Talloolah what building our own costume would entail. I’m no seamstress as I’ve said time and time again, but I’ve got this dance skirt that can be bedazzled and sewn into a really pretty sort of sexy night gown lingerie thing which would work really well with the song I would choose to be my first performance. I just need to know if I’m available Thursday nights.
And will I still be able to give time to Horizon with the holidays looming?
And will I get to spend any time with my mom (and hopefully the boyfriend–more of those ever so lovely reality gut punches) when she comes to visit in November?
And will I put this short term goal of living independently on hold come May?
And will whatever choice I make actually be the right choice?
Feelings. All over the damn place. Not sure how well I’ll be sleeping tonight. Good thing I don’t have anywhere to be until tomorrow evening. With Urusula Undress! These classes have been supremely helpful in letting go of baggage for an hour. Thank you again, performing arts!
- BREAKFAST: Primal Shake (mousse)
- DINNER: Two burgers with tomato sauce, roasted sweet potatoes
- SNACK: Failed coconut date rolls, a few shredded carrots
P.S. I learned why I shouldn’t keep cheese in the apartment. I will snack on it at night when a snack experiment goes horribly awry. ::chokes on combinations of cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, and cloves::