When you admit you have an addiction, it’s a serious matter. Heroin, cocaine, alcohol, sex, hoarding. It’s heavy. For some reason if you say you have a sugar addiction, it’s just kind of funny.
“You do? Oh me too!”
“Man, I totally feel you! I can’t live without cupcakes!!”
“I could eat like a box of cookies a day! LOL!”
Have you ever heard someone say “LOL” out loud? It’s like nails on a chalkboard. That was a thing when I was in high school. Shame on every one of you.
But seriously, we laugh. We laugh and keep doing what we do. We laugh while I sit here and spend beyond my budget so I can hide out in my car and eat a TastyCakes apple and lemon pie on a bad day or sneak broken cookies from work when I don’t even have to sneak them. I will walk through the snack aisle (Natural section and otherwise) just to stare–and sometimes buy when I can’t control myself. I use social gatherings as an excuse to drink sweet cocktails and eat lots of dessert.
Because it’s a lighthearted matter to society, I can also laugh it off. I don’t need to hold myself accountable because no one else holds me accountable. Eating and drinking this way is expected. In fact, I get the most absurd looks sometimes when I DON’T eat SAD food. I don’t expect anyone to hold me accountable or go out of their way for me. I’m not your problem. But I do have a problem that in a just and free world would be acknowledged and fixed purely based on the skyrocketing obesity and diabetes rates.
Instead of trying to fix anyone else, I’m going to fix myself and lead by living. I’m noticing how happy I felt the last five days. Everything is bright. Everything is good. Everything can be accomplished. I can even stem my road rage and outbursts! The cravings are always there. Every time I see a commercial, every time someone is cooling off from the Georgia heat with ice cream, every time birthdays come through the Center with cupcakes and pizza, every time someone at work is so kind to bring us treats, I want to cry a little. But I know I’m better off without it. I can substitute sweets for unprocessed, homemade sweets, but I shouldn’t do that either as often as I do. That’s why I’m doing the detox. I need to take a stand for my health. It’s about time I grow up. Society can breed extended adolescence. I’m a grown-ass woman.
Here’s what I had as my lunchtime snack today. It was satisfying. It was light. It didn’t make me hyperactive or sad or sick. (Although I may have an egg sensitivity. Still working that out.) Could I have taken ginger snaps? Or chips? Or skipped over to DQ with its campfire blizzard? Could’ve. Am I better off without it? Absolutely!