Turns out I can go six days with high spirits before a single bit of bad circumstance completely overwhelms me. All I needed to do was figure out how to spend the hour and a half between Puppetry and Horizon. That’s it. I was doing really well. I beat Girl Scout cookies! So I thought I’d go to WalMart and work out some things about one of my POC costumes. I think felt and glitter glue could work to spice up Mario a bit. Or if I can ever find those red rhinestones. And then what did I do? Wandered over to the food. I immediately left to Kroger. Just to pass the time of course! Pffft. Just to make myself want to cry. Still didn’t buy anything.
Horizon was immediately stressful. And there were muffins and cake in my face. And MORE girl scout cookies! Like what the actual freaking what?! Didn’t touch them. The shift was easy enough, but Verizon wouldn’t let me send out any texts which meant no incoming moral support as I worked myself into a frenzy. And a frenzy it was. I was so frustrated by the end of the night for no discernible reason that I was screaming and crying the entire drive home. A completely random outburst of screams and tears. I suppose I should also mention in a very TMI fashion that my hormones seem to be affected by some annoyances just as heavy as the regular monthly annoyance.
If you want to know how addicts react when they’re craving, this is it, guys. Yelling and crying. Or maybe that’s just me. I don’t know. Try the detox for yourself and see how you feel.
So what did I do next? Went to Kroger to see if they had avocados so I could make my 21DSD treat. Nope. Guess they’re not in season anymore. So instead I bought a bag of potato chips made with avocado oil and an 85% dark chocolate bar. Green and Black. And kombucha. I ate the whole bar and most of the bag of chips. And that’s how Day 6 defeated me after a hard fought battle. Of course my phone could send texts again AFTER I started binging like a maniac. I felt so awful.
However, I’m determined to complete the 21DSD so despite this slip up, I’m not done yet!