Beauty: Short Term vs. Long Term

This post is a bit serious. The road to health isn’t always easy. But you’re welcome to skip straight to the featured recipe. It’s a stupid easy one!

I learned something important that I hope stays with me longer than the fraction of an instant that most motivational things like to stay with me. Your success in your life and health has a direct correlation to what your goals are for your life and health. Vain goals are still goals, but may only take you part of the way to what really counts, like long term health. My goal is pretty vain, guys. I want to be beautiful according to a screwed up society that doesn’t understand the meaning of the word, but that I think is slowly trying to redefine it. Beauty inside and out. Beauty equating to health. Maybe we should use better words to describe people. Finding better things on which to compliment them. Not everyone is society’s view of “beautiful” and you don’t need to be. Just freaking be a good person!

This confirms one thing: I've always had a passionate love affair with ribbon.
I’ve always had a passionate love affair with a special something. Never leave me, sweet beautiful ribbon!

However, I’m looking to be beautiful according to a broken scale of beauty. I recognize this even when I know how stupid it sounds. I spent my most formative years being overweight to obese. That involved a lot of name calling, a lot of self loathing, and a severe lack of the word “beautiful”. If the word was there, I certainly didn’t believe it or just outright didn’t hear it. When I reached a size 8 early 2013 (a decade after I hit my top weight at 13 years old) and I could see my little waist and defined collar bone and rewarded myself with a belly piercing, I unconsciously reached my vain goal. I became lax. The goal then wasn’t long term health; it was, and still sort of is, acceptance.

So in case you were wondering why I’m occasionally a hypocrite, that’s where my brain is. It often feels defeated when I feel any negative thoughts that remind me of my old mindset or from being denied the regular comforts of sugary snacks and being sedentary in front of a computer or TV. That leads to days long binges on all the worst things. The real kicker? I’m waiting  for it to happen again because so long as I don’t gain the weight back, I’ll still feel like I can pull off “beautiful” which I’ve craved more than sugar. This is because my goal is vain and short term. It’s silly, I know. I’m pretty hot according the MARTA creeps. That’s what needs to change now. Vanity is interfering and causing frustration as I realize I have a long term goal that is MUCH more important. Beauty in health. [ALERT: MORAL OF THE STORY]

My brain can't always admit she's friggin' adorbs.
My brain can’t always admit I’m friggin’ adorbz.

I mention this because I’m currently on what I hope is the aftermath of a bad binge. I talked out my thoughts and started feeling better. I feel more motivated to get through this next lonely streak by getting out and seeing people even if it costs some money. Saving money for the sake of saving money. . .apparently it’s a bad idea with the culminating factors in my life right now. So I’m going out. I’m seeing people I like. I’m going to enjoy my days as best as I can. Not going to spend TOO much though. This is what I’m resolving to do to end this sugar streak and readjust to the proper long term goals for myself. I want my health and happiness to be my goal. That’s real beauty to me. (And I turned down leftover birthday cake to start the journey!)

I hope it’s a long time before I need to talk about binges again. I don’t want to be a hypocrite anymore. Just because clean eating has saved my life doesn’t mean it’s always easy. I apologize if I ever gave that impression. Sometimes I’m on a roll. Sometimes I’m not. This time? Time to crush!

Crushing bad feelings is pretty beautiful, right? Dare I say sexy? 😉

Featured recipe: Sweet potato “spaghetti” and meatballs

20140717_202342Check out this bad boy! Yeeeeeeah. I adore sweet potatoes. Probably too carb-y to have often, but when I do it’s such a treat! Clearly I’m also a little obsessed with my spiral slicer. However, it doesn’t handle sweet potatoes well. Maybe I’ll try boiling them a little so they’ll soften up and grip better. Not too soft though! I got a good bit of noodles from one potato. Then I used a dumpster meatball recipe (just toss whatever seasonings I want in the meat, add coconut flour, and go!) and made some basic tomato sauce thickened with tomato paste and seasoned with whatever zesty spices you like.  You can’t really go wrong with balls of seasoned meat drowned in thick tomato sauce over any type of noodle. You just can’t. Unless you have a nightshades allergy. Or you’re the devil.

Just don’t forget your lunch at home and force yourself to order Chinese food so you don’t starve at work, Brenna! Numbnuts. . .although I did easily go 8 1/2 waking hours without food and wouldn’t have ordered if I wasn’t immediately headed to my second job that night. Oh life. You can be cruel, but so beautiful. Like Rooster cookies. . .mmmmm. . .sweet sweet gastrointestinal distress.

Grok on, bros and she-bros!

This is me too excited about finally finding motivation to wash my chef knives.
This is me too excited about finally finding motivation to wash my chef knives.



One thought on “Beauty: Short Term vs. Long Term

  1. A very motivated young woman, that I’ve know since she was a baby. I also have an addiction to sugar and have not kick the habit yet, so keep up the good work because inspire me

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