“Fat Positive” is Heading for “Health Negative”

Can we talk for a minute, woman to world? I spotted a list of “fat positive” tattoos on Facebook that made me gag. Yes, my feelings were that strong and I’ll tell you why in a moment. The idea of fat positive is now in our vocabulary and personal responsibility has been ousted. “Live fat, die yum”? Seriously?

Growing up I was obese. I hit my top weight at thirteen. I was 209lbs on something like a 5′ frame. I was every fat stereotype: self loathing, hiding food, praying I could wake up thin and happy, physically and emotionally hurting. I was a fat girl in a skinny-hungry world and I did it to myself. Today I’m not skinny, but I’m healthier than ever.

My road to recovery has been tumultuous to say the least. I took small steps as a kid, cutting out candy and soda. As an adult, my brother helped me discover Primal health. Did you know there are faces to the Paleo/Primal movement who aren’t just slim size 4, but also strong size who-cares? It’s beautiful! To touch on all levels of health, I have also never loved myself as much as I do today. I’m happier in every respect.

Now with radical feminist interjection in our modern world and a hyped up sense of both entitlement and egalitarianism–both completely absurd–loving yourself has taken a turn for the worse. Body positive has become “fat positive”. Let’s understand what this “positive” idea is.

It's like Where's Waldo, but trying to find yourself. I'm not good at this game.
It’s like Where’s Waldo, but trying to find yourself.

Being positive towards something is accepting it, maybe even embracing it. It is an encouraging nature towards something. Body positive is wonderful. It only started coming to light for me when I saw burlesque ladies’ posts popping up on Facebook. Beautiful men and women of every size, height, race, and creed scrolled across my computer. I discovered Ms. Tess Holliday, a plus sized model and founder of #effyourbeautystandards. I stopped thinking of their supposed flaws and started pointing out attractive features. Well styled hair, bright eyes, laughing smiles, sexy poses, flattering clothes, charisma for days.

With that idea of positive in mind, fat positive is harmful. Let’s use the word fat according to advocates: it’s a word, a harmless adjective. Being fat is not something to hate, but it is also not to be embraced whereas being healthy or health oriented is despite your current size. Everyone knows the health risks of being overweight. Perhaps the risks are so recognized that concern over the health of fat people has now been demonized, and so someone like me won’t be taken seriously. It’s now discriminatory to mention health to them. They would probably even say I fat shame myself for living health consciously!

Feelings must be defended at all costs.
Feelings must be defended at all costs.

I understand. I am ignored by people who have found a scapegoat to let them pretend to love themselves and not necessarily strive for change. Personal responsibility is out the window, but it will haunt you. Yes, you can strut now, but at what cost to your later years? (I also understand that this unhealthy mindset applies to svelte people too, but something the fat positive advocates got right, based on the body positive idea, is that there is indeed a particular stigma against fat.)

Fat positive advocates expect the world to change for them instead of changing themselves. Public transport is discriminatory because standard seating is too small? *No, unfortunately your girth is too wide despite your sexy style. The insurance industry is discriminatory for charging more to those with obvious health risks? **No, your weight is an obvious risk. The workplace is discriminatory for considering your weight when hiring? No, if you struggle with tasks because of your weight, then your weight may be a liability. (By the way, if I’m defending public ANYTHING, you’re doing something wrong.)

Maggie and the Bedazzled Sleep Apnea Mask. She loves herself.
Maggie and the Bedazzled Sleep Apnea Mask. She loves herself.

Role models like Ms. Tess Holliday are fat and beautiful, at least in my eyes. According to her Instagram account, she incorporates physical fitness into her life, and that is awesome! The problem is asking to face the consequences of being fat (topped with entitlement). I worry that people look at such role models and think, “I don’t need to push myself towards health because women like Tess show me fat is beautiful.” Then they wind up with cupcake tattoos saying “Fat girl/boy”. I also worry people really believe the world needs to change for them instead of the other way around or paving their own path. Okay, let’s raise taxes to spend more money on material to widen all airplane seats. Uh huh. We’ll see how that flies…see what I did there?

This isn’t an attack on Ms. Tess Holliday or anyone really. This is a warning to the people who are paving the road to hell with their best intentions. The world owes you nothing just for being alive. Living, not stressing, with health and happiness in mind is what makes men and women beautiful. If anything is deserving of a “____ positive” following, it isn’t the fact that you’re fat, but rather your strength to be well.

*This is why everything should be privatized. Then the incentive may be there to accommodate fat passengers.

**Again, private insurance companies not impeded by federal law would have incentive to get you as a customer.

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Games Have Titles for a Reason – Cards Against Humanity Review

A recent review of Cards Against Humanity made me give so much side eye, the computer screen nearly bent. I will thank them for getting my fingers back to the keyboard! Players and creators agree the game is going to offend people. I won’t go into the reviewers’ cringe-worthy use of the word “privilege” or needing a “trigger warning”. I am going to review the game fairly as a lover of games. If my ethics breach the words, it’s no more than what those reviewers did. There’s your warning. 🙂

Cards Against Humanity is a controversial card game with a specific audience understanding absurd humor. It is not family-friendly. I generally play with a group of friends who are accepting of those who don’t know a new friend’s life story. Seems obvious. The game play is very simple. You try to piece together the best joke you can with the cards you drew. Often I find the game to be tricky because your hand may not lend itself to much humor usually for being too random to fit the prompting card. There are cards that people will find goofy. There are cards that people will find “offensive”. Offense is simply one’s interpretation of another’s words or actions. It can’t be avoided short of mind control. (This should NOT be confused with aggression. i.e. rape or assault is not just offensive, but aggressive and criminal. However, joking about it will just hurt some feelings. Simply remove yourself from that company if you’re offended.)

Tasteful. It's tasteful sideboob. Totally different.
Tasteful. It’s tasteful sideboob. Totally different.

In Cards Against Humanity, like the well known Apples to Apples, you are playing the judge rather than the game. Is your judge a grandparent? A bro? A bro-ny? A timid girl meeting your friends for the first time a few weeks into a new romantic relationship with you? …that’s not describing anyone in particular. Your judge is how you determine what card is best. I accidentally upset someone in a game of Apples to Apples because I played “Car crash” and the judge whom I didn’t know had recently been in a terrible car accident. Just goes to show you can’t please everyone. Games designed like this can be a challenge, but they provide an interesting variable to the otherwise obvious structure of players vs. each other or players vs. game. Like Pandemic. Freaking Pandemic.

Rules: There are black cards (I’m sorry, oppressed African American cards?) with prompts, and white cards (oops, privileged cis racist cards–okay okay, I’m done) with responses. The judge draws and plays a prompt card. The players play their response cards face down or hand them to the judge. The judge decides which card wins and that concludes the round. So simple it’s almost necessary to be drunk!

There's your trigger warning.
There’s your trigger warning.

Pros: The first time you play the game, playing with one pack–there are six expansions at this point–will give you plenty of laughs. Just keep adding expansions for more laughs. The game was designed to be controlled by its fanbase; people are encouraged to print their own versions. I lol’d in real life to spot a libertarian version of Cards Against Humanity.

The game accommodates a lot of players and doesn’t require too much thought, making it a great party game. It’s a very simple fill in the blank style game.

A new group of people brings a new challenge with each game. Every judge will like something a little different unless you only play with groups of college frat boys. Pixelated bukake is the trump card to college frat boys.

Cons: This is a very social and unrelenting game. It’s not for people uncomfortable with bawdy humor and extroverts. If you don’t know your company’s humor well, winning is a shot in the dark. Again, definitely not describing anyone in particular.

The prompts can feel limiting based on the phrasing and based on the luck of your draw. It can get especially difficult with the multiple option prompts. Despite 10 cards in your hand, mixing and matching for a winning combination is tricky. Sometimes it’s just luck. That’s what you get with such a simplistic design.

The game is a bit like being a drug addict. The more you play, even with expansions, the more the jokes become predictable and you crave variety. If you can no longer turn to more expansions for your fix, you’re probably just going to turn to more alcohol.

Conclusion: I’m not a huge fan of crude humor and I’m not the “funny guy” of my friends so Cards Against Humanity isn’t one of my favorites. I don’t play well. It’s still a good time when the stars align just right. You end up with treasures like “How Does Obama Unwind After A Long Day?” “Swimming in a pool of children’s tears.” Those precision drone strikes…

Happy gaming!

NAP Time: Rights =/= Wants

You won’t understand the Hobby Lobby situation until you understand the definition of rights and how they differ from wants. Rights are inherent (NOT granted). Wants are not. Living is a right no one has permission to take from you. Birth control is a want. Controlling your business (aka your property) is a right. Benefits from your employer is a want, a want you discuss when creating a contract with your employer. It comes down to what you agree upon and how worthwhile you are to his/her company. It’ll work better in a free market society.

When you instantly react so viscerally to these situations you make them so much worse by ignoring the most basic principles of non-aggression. I get it, ladies and feminists, your hearts are in the right place. Your rioting, however, is misdirected.

“But they never say, ‘Whose rights must we violate to get what we want?'”

The good Dr. Ron Paul put the situation into perspective better than I could. When you get it, you can’t UN-get it. Freedom works that way.

See him trash statist arguments here: http://rare.us/story/ron-paul-slams-the-left-over-hobby-lobby-wants-and-rights-are-two-different-things/

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Just for fun, I found this great little comic that AhaParenting shared. 20 (19 for we atheists) reasons to home school your children. I so hope the father of my child(ren) and I are in a position to home school our kid(s). The State is powerful. Indoctrination of a child is a powerful weapon. I want better than that for my kid(s) and for society. We have to start somewhere, yeah?

http://www.home-school.com/news/20-great-reasons-you-homeschool.php

NAP Time: Back to the Basics

I follow The Libertarian Homeschooler on Facebook. She posted this video that is a very basic building block to understanding actual freedom, whatever that freedom means to you. After a Facebook conversation I had a couple of weeks ago, I realized there’s a key flaw in the argument for the current government we have. It’s this social contract idea that is maddening. If you want to have laws, you have those laws. But if I don’t want them, you can’t make me follow your laws. You want to talk about property and ownership? Let’s start with this video. Let’s fix things, please!

I’m pretty much decided on homeschooling my child. If she decides she likes being owned, that will be her choice. It won’t be from indoctrination. It’s something I’ll need to discuss with the child’s father to whom I hope to be married and it’s something for which I’ll have to be financially prepared. Then other circumstances come into play.

As any other not-yet-a-mother-but-wishing-to-rear-a-child-as-awesome-as-me, I’m extremely worried about the who’s, what’s, where’s, when’s, why’s, and most certainly the how’s. This video, according to the Libertarian Homeschooler who also lives in Georgia by the way, is great for little ones who can’t read yet. I wonder since the language itself seems a little complex at times. I guess we would talk about what some things in the video mean, like property, liberty, theft, slavery. The things the Libertarian Homeschooler’s older boy understands. . .wow. It’s beyond incredible. He has a bright future ahead of him. I hope I’ll be as good a mother. Better get started on my education!

http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=news/local&id=9464086

Looks like the iconic sailor from WWII who sexually harassed a woman in the streets has died today. I don’t celebrate people’s deaths except those who deserve death for trying to harm another person. I don’t actually know anything about this man other than he kissed a woman without asking her consent so I’m not celebrating his death. I also don’t know if the woman was okay with the kiss or not. All I know is that grabbing someone and kissing them when they aren’t expecting it and may not want it is a TERRIBLE idea and should NOT be celebrated. I would go so far as to say it is CRIMINAL. If this happened today, that man would be sans a set of testicles.

Although something tells me if this happened today for the same reason, the cops would care just as little as they clearly did back then. “Oh what’s the harm in a little kiss? Lighten up, toots! We don’t follow our arbitrary laws if enough people don’t take it seriously.”

Til he gives you herpes with that dirty sailor mouth. Then you’re the slut and he’s still just an egomaniac.

NAP Time: Article Highlights. . .Lowlights.

http://thefreethoughtproject.com/dr-simona-tibu-brutally-beaten-traffic-stop-sheriff-charged-assault/

I’ll stop talking about police brutality when you START talking about it. Repeat after me: SHINY. BADGES. DO. NOT. GRANT. EXTRA. RIGHTS. Now stop praising monsters! Please!

“But Brenna, not all cops are bad! These are exceptions.”

Where are these “good” cops? Where are they to stand up for individuals like this woman? Where are they to speak out about how many cadets entering the force turn into walking, breathing crimes against humanity? The mantra is supposed to be “to protect and serve” not “At the end of the day, I just want to get back to my family.” Sob sob. Boo hoo. Give me your money.

I have no doubt I’ll be talking about this again soon. Maybe we could introduce the idea of private police. No, not the SS. Those were public servants. They served the State which served the public. They too claimed “I’m just doing my job.”

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http://thefreethoughtproject.com/hes-wearing-diaper-tsa-agent-humiliates-cancer-victim/

Yeah, this happened. And I’m about to take a flight in June. I am still blown away that so many people believe these situations are absolutely acceptable.

“But Brenna, this is horrible! I don’t agree with this!”

Yeah. You do. If you are okay with the TSA, then you are okay with this. This is what the TSA does. They do not catch terrorists, they hassle “random” strangers. They do not protect you, they humiliate you. And you accept this humiliation because somehow you feel safer. I certainly don’t. I just feel anxiety and helplessness. That’s what the TSA wants. That’s what the State wants. Dependency upon them so you think you couldn’t use common sense to take care of yourself. This ill man’s harrowing experience is the result. Pfft, and they want to ARM the TSA. . .

I may not make it to my friends’ wedding because I’ll be damned if some stranger with an ego getting paid through MY paycheck is going to stick her fingers in my vagina like she is actually searching for something. She’s not searching for my g-spot and she’s not looking for a commitment. I’m not okay with either of these things from someone wishing to grope me. Sorry I’m not sorry for my bluntness.

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http://www.azcentral.com/news/politics/free/20140219arizona-senate-oks-bill-boosting-service-refusal.html

I’m going to ask the following: If a man who raped you or a woman who killed your loved one walked into your business and wanted to be served, how would you feel about being forced to serve them?

“But Brenna, this is totally different! You can’t discriminate against gay people! They didn’t hurt you! That’s mean! They have rights!”

Assholes will be assholes despite the law. You don’t have the right to penalize someone because he is doing what he wants with his money and business. Unless that penalization is ostracism. That’s fine. Just don’t go there anymore. What, is the next law going to force me to shop in your store specifically because it would hurt your feelings if I didn’t? Discriminating against people is DUMB. It’s stupid, but people will do it anyway. It’s when the law backs it up that discrimination becomes dangerous. That’s what people are really talking about when they speak of the Civil Rights movement. Discrimination against blacks was enforced by LAW. Take the State and the law and the bull crap out of the equation and a person who discriminates is just a jerk.

What were we taught about bullies when we were little? Just walk away. Don’t whine and gripe and hold a gun to the bully’s head and make him do what you want. If you do that, you’re the real bully. So yes. I’m glad these states “allow” (as if they gave permission. . .) business owners to refuse service to homosexuals or blacks or Asians or people with freckles or geniuses or mom’s of three or more children or anyone with purple in their clothing. It’s a right that the business owner has. You’re a worse person than that business owner if you would force him to serve people he doesn’t want to serve. You don’t have the right to make that decision for anyone. Just walk away.

NAP Time: Snow-pocalypse Part II?

Sorry, native and long term Georgians. Honest. But it still makes me giggle that a winter storm watch puts Georgia into a state of emergency. Call it my New Jersey princess roots. No, I’m not laughing at friends and loved ones stuck in the mess. I’m laughing at the situation in general. A state of emergency. For black ice. Something that comes around every time water meets cold.

Which also means you’re more than welcome to laugh at we native northerners and our silly heat waves and panic over an earthquake. What are we, pansies? You got it! We’ve been babied into being little pansies.

So what are we all afraid of with these clashing climates? What is the real scare here? It sounds like the big issue for Georgians is the devastating thought that their tax money, already a precious commodity being stolen from their checks every two weeks or monthly or per gig or what have you, is being wasted on something they don’t need. The money that they are forced to give up to the state of Georgia to protect them wouldn’t actually be protecting them. It would be better off still in their wallets! Like if every home in NJ was suddenly bumped in price because we were forced to have special earthquake resistant door frames and foyers. Damn straight I’d be pissed!

The idea that this is most definitely the thought running through every Georgian’s mind and yet they worship their government that protects them until it doesn’t — this idea frustrates me to no end. You don’t want your money wasted, but what about those programs you don’t support, but a majority of people think it would be in your best interest to have or not? ANYTHING that is publicly funded that you have to lobby to change. ANYTHING like that is a waste of your money. But guess what. If you lobby to change it, now it’s a waste of someone else’s money. You’re okay with that?

What if — and bear with me here — you took care of yourself and each other? Voluntarily. What if you kept all the money you earned and could pool that money with the neighbors in your town to buy your own plows and your own salt trucks? What if you took matters into your own very capable hands instead of the hands of incompetents? And if you think you’re not capable, if you think we common people are not capable, what on earth makes these people in office any more capable? When have politicians proved themselves as anything but more capable at spinning words?

I declare we take care of ourselves and our roads and our cars and our homes. Our health. Our lives. And before you say, “But without government, no one would want to help each other and nothing would get done!!11!!1!!!11!!!!”, remember the  beautiful, kind people who went out into the snow-pocaplypse to give people food, water, help them to shelter, and more. They would help. They would care. Without force.

“I choose anarchy because anything else would be uncivilized.” -Jeffrey Tucker